My Computer Ate My Friends
by sora-is-a-hottie
Summary: What happens when people get sucked into a maniacal computer? Well see for yourself! chapter five up!
1. The Beggining

1My Computer Ate My Friends

Hello! It's me sora-is-a-hottie! I'm a first time writer so bear with me please. But, if the story stinks tell me in a calm polite way, so I'll improve, not just stop the story.

ahemDisclaimer: I do not...I repeat and put emphasis on the words "I do not", I do not own Kingdom Hearts, The Sims, OR the internet(Heck, I don't even own this computer!)

One day, Sora, Riku, Kairi,(a/n: It's really rather wrong not having them in a group) Cloud(a/n: I like his hair!), Yuffie, and Aeris were sitting in front of Sora's computer(a/n : actually it was his mom's...)playing The Sims. In this version of the game you could take people on dates downtown, go on vacation, own pet's, or have a wild party.(a/n: It's just all the games piled into one)

Sora had downloaded all these weird items onto the game from the internet. Including the game! So you'd think the computer would get fed up with this right? Maybe. Let's see what's going to happen in this epic adventure shall we?

"Is the computer done loading the game yet?" Yuffie asked for the millionth time. "NO!" Everyone shouted . "Exactly how may things did you download from that site" Riku asked, he was beginning to feel very annoyed. "Over fifty" Sora replied in a in a small voice. "WHAT!" Kairi replied angrily. "Idiot" Cloud siad in a dull tone. "EVERYONE KNOWS THAT YOU SHOULDN'T DO THAT!"Kairi yelled(a/n:I once downloaded too many Sim things and...and...find a happy place ...find a happy place...) "NEVER FEAR EVERYONE! I KNOW HOW TO FIX THIS COMPUTER !"Yuffie yelled.

"NOOOOOOO!Don't do it Yuffie!" they all screamed, as they all feared what would happen _this_ time. The last time she tried to fix the T.V., she ended up blowing the T.V., the living room, the bathroom, and half the kitchen to smithereens! Also blew up part of Sora's room, his mom's room and the upstairs bathroom, leaving only the toilet hanging on a couple of pipes. ( a/n: "toilet" is _not_ vulgar)

What happened next to Sora's computer was utterly horrifying! Yuffie went under his desk before anyone could stop her, then started to rewire the computer. Now, if you were a computer whose owner(s) took very bad care of you and their maniacal friend just decided to rearrange your insides, what would you do? (a/n: really, what would you do?)

Well the computer had been plotting his...her...ummmmmmm...it's(?) revenge and saving it in the word files. Sora took that as a mere coincidence and kept them on the computer. He decided he would later send it to all the fan girls who wouldn't stop stalking him and Riku, asking for an autograph, a photo, a shirt, his underwear, a snip of their hair...and the list goes on and on. All of the sudden the computer started spurting out babble like, "This does not compute mammals ju lalalallurgggggghhhhhh plop jump higher" and "Re computing mammal matrix FIREFIREFREEEEEEEEEEEEEeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEeeeeeeeeeeeEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEeeeeeeeeeeeeEEEP!" and something incoherent that sounded a lot like his science teacher...( a/n: Spell check didn't register these words at _all_! I wonder why...)

Then the computer screen just went black. "What the..." Aeris tried to make out but as soon as she opened her mouth, a small white dot appeared on the screen. Then it suddenly started to get bigger and bigger and bigger and bigger and...( a/n: you get the point)then a white light suddenly shone only in front the computer creating a portal that sucked everyone in. Almost everyone..."Hey! You guys! I fixed it where did you all go?" _Maybe they went to get some pizza..._ Yuffie wondered"Hey the game has loaded! They won't mind if I play while they're gone...

MEANWHILE

"Where the heck are we?" Exclaimed Cloud, in a rather loud tone. "You know what...I really don't know." said a quiet voice.

That would be an evil place to stop right? Well, I'm stopping because I'm running out of time. My cousin, I heart Riku, my friend Digiko, and about 2 other people are helping me on this as well. TTFN!(ta ta 4 now)-REVIEW PLEEEEEEESE


	2. Where Are WE?

Me: HIYA PEOPLES!

Sora: No-ones there...

Me: If you don't count sora-rocks, the fifth Marauder, and Digiko. Oh! the fifth Marauder, read this chapter, Leon might make an appearance... Sora-rocks...I KNOW WHERE YOU LIVE! how did you get on-line? Did you sneek?...well any way...

Digiko: where the heck am I?

Me: glomps THANK YOU FOR BEING THE FIRST ONE TO REVIEW!

Riku: Shut up, get offa her, and finish the authors note/ disclaimer...

Me: fine, AHEM

Disclaimer: If I owned Kingdom Hearts, I WOULD RULE THE WORLD!

Kairi: HERE'S CHAPTER 2! runs away

"_You know what...I really don't know"_ a quiet calm voice stated

"Who are you?"Sora said.

" And why are we on the side of a streetin the morning( a/n: hint, hint), when the last time I checked we were in Sora's room and it was 5:00 in the afternoon" Riku pointed out the obvious.

" You don't remember me?" said the voice.

" Well for one your standing in the shadows..." Cloud remarked.

" OH! Yeah," Said the voice as it stepped out of the shadows.

"LEON?" Everyone shouted.

" Where the heck were you!" shouted Kairi, wanting an explanation

" We all thought that you were driven away by Yuffie..." said Sora

" Well, remember when I was looking for the C.D. that I brought over,"" Uh-huh" "Well, I was looking for it and your stupid computer ate me!"

" Wha..." Aeris said dazed.

" I knew that there was something wrong with the computer" Cloud said

" But if your in the computer and we're in here with you..."

Then they all realized that they were stuck in the computer!

"HEEEEEEEEEEEELLLLP!" They all screamed as loud as they could, but to no avail.( a/n: Hey! that sentence made me sound smart! COOL!) For no one can hear you scream in a computer...

" Hey! Where's Yuffie?" Sora asked.

Kairi was starting to have a major breakdown, " your asking 'where's Yuffie' when we're stuck in _YOUR_ computer, but we don't know _WHERE_ we are in it and, and...WAHHHHHHH! After that last part she started to cry, out of frustration.

" Calm down. Everything will be okay" Aeris said with a cool head, rubbing Kairi's shoulder to get her to calm down.( a/n: that's not wrong...is it? )

" I've figured out where we are..." Riku said

" Well, what are you waiting for tell us!" Sora said , beginning to get impatient.

" Well...remember that awful Sim house we made, where the Sims were dirt poor, lived in the worst house ever and they all died" " Uh-huh..." Sora said now REALLY impatient.

" Well, look over there."

" Cr..." Cloud had begun to say

" Crackers!" Sora said, as he had just found a packet of crackers in the pocket of his black pants ( I don't know if I said this but Sora and Kairi are wearing their KH2 stuff, and everyone is wearing the stuff from KH)

" That was random..."

Sure enough, as soon as they turned around, there was the "house"( Notice that it's in quotations) The house had no wallpaper, a dirt pathway leading to the "house", huge piles of trash everywhere, an over grown "dead" flower garden , another garden that was being overrun by killer gophers, rabbits, and weeds. But one thing bothered them. The bushes were miraculously fine, and also the fact that there were grave stones every where...( a/n: OOOOOOH! Spooky!)

" Maybe I can...grow us some food..." Aeris said, making a beeline for the garden.

"OH MY GOD!" Kairi said as she kneeled down next to one of the gravestones. " Here lies Selphie! Why did you two kill her?" and with that said, Kairi immediately launched herself at the nearest living thing-which happened to be Sora-and started choking him

" AAAUGHHHH! Lemme go and I'll tell you!"

Kairi realizing what she had just done, let go of him and fell to her knees, her hair hiding her face streaked with tears of regret( a/n: 'Cause who would want to hurt him? He's just SOOOOOOOOO CUTE!)

Riku started the story ( a/n: due to the fact that Sora was gasping for air...)

" Well, to make a long story short... we made a family, only she was in it, we took her to a shop, but whenever we told her to do something, little command boxes would pop up saying 'portal world'( a/n: that actually happened to me once...) And that would erase the previous command, even when we told her to call home...so we had to kill her otherwise we'd never get home." He shrugged

EVERYONE FALLS DOWN ANIME STYLE

Me: that was chapter 2. I'm really sorry I took so long to update and that this chapter wasn't funny enough, but every story has to start somewhere...

Kairi: that didn't start it you BAKA!

Me: BAKA JENAI!( I am no idiot!) uses holy grenade

Holy grenade: **ALLELULIA!**

BOOM

Kairi: UUUUUGHGHGHHHH!

Riku & Sora: in camuflage clothes, war paint, complete with sniper gunHOW DARE YOU HURT HER! DIE!

Me: Uh-oh... I want AT LEAST 8 reviews or I'll kill everyone and keep them lost in cyber space, and the next chapter will be extremely boring! REVIEW!


	3. part 1 of chapter three

1Me: I'm BACK! Okay so here's my response to some of your reviews:

Casey: Look, I think Sora AND Riku are hot, so, I'm not mad at you, but the whole reason I'm "sora-is-a-hottie" is because Riku didn't exactly, well sound fun to say.

Kato Shingetsu: thanks for the compliment-.

Me: there now that that's done I just have one thing to say, and I know it might be too late but: DO NOT FLAME ME. No-one likes getting flamed. If you flame me I WILL STOP THIS STORY AND DROP THE CHARACTERS INTO A VIRTUAL TRASH BIN. BELIEVE ME, I can do that, they're in cyber-space, remember. Even if you think of flaming me,( I can read your mind) I will know!

Disclaimer: LOOK! I haven't gotten enough sleep lately and I want to...well, I don't know what , but I DON"T OWN ANYTHING IN THIS FREAKING STORY AT ALL!( a/n: woah! Spell check counted freaking as a word!)! That's better...sorry, I'm just bored. I am also very sorry that I am not featuring any of the characters in this authors note.

TO INFINITY AND BEYOND!

incyberspaceincyberspaceincyberspaceincyberspaceincyberspaceincyberspace

"Soooooooooooooooooooooooo...lets go inside.." Cloud mumbled. No response. " WHILE WE"RE YOUNG!"

" FINE mister meanie butt, but some of us have to help carry people!" Kairi shouted at Cloud, as she helped Sora up.

"Why did you call me a meanie butt? That wasn't very nice." Cloud said looking very offended.

"NUUUAUUUGGHHHH!" she screamed running after Cloud, dropping Sora, and stepping on him in the process. ( a/n: now if you can imagine stars over Sora's head, 2 BIG "X's" in place of his eyes, and a shoe mark on his face as well, then you have what he's feeling right now)

"Owwwwwwwww..."( a/n: sorry I'm picking on you Sora --)

"WHAT THEblockblockblocklbockloblockblockblockblockblockblock (a/n: use your imagination for that part)I didn't know she could run so blocking fast! HELP!" ( What? This is for little kids, right)

IHAVETOSTOPNOWCAUSEMYCOMPUTERISDOINGSOMETHINGWIERD

I don't know why but my computer is messing up the spacing, so everything was overlapping, but I'm posting 2 chappies 2day( okaaay... I'll need to take some medicine 'cause, personally, I have never written like that before...) SEE YOU NEXT TIME!


	4. THE THING!

Me: HELLO MY READERS!

Kairi: HEY! I'm alive!

Me: All thanks to the people who reviewed! You saved them all!

Everyone: HAPPY INDEPENDENCE DAY EVERYONE!( OH! If your offended by us saying that, I'm sorry, but I am so happy about this!)

Me: To the story!

Nearsomerandomhousenearsomerandomhousenearsomerandomhousenearsomerandomhaousenearsomerandom

* * *

"I'm feeling better now" Kairi said stopping in mid-step, grinning ear to ear.

"AUGHHHH!" Cloud shouted falling onto the ground from exhaustion.

"Lets go inside _NOW_." Riku said getting very annoyed at the fact that those two were wasting time.

Once they all got inside they were completely and utterly shocked. It was two square rooms . One was bigger than the other and the smaller one was in the top right hand corner. The smaller one was the bathroom ( yes Sora and Riku have _at least _some sort of decency when it came to the house) the larger room had no wallpaper whatsoever, the tile was just ...gravel, garbage and dead plants littered the floor, and there was...ummmmm...water( at least that's what I think it is, but you can say it's ummmm something else.) There were furnishings of course, but all there was was a "recycled" couch ,a couple of the cheap whicker chairs, one row of those yellow animal print counters ( I FORGOT THE NAME!T-T)with a sink , a black and white T.V., and a small blue refrigerator.

"Well...it certainly has some work to be done on it..." Cloud pointed out

"..."Everyone gave him angry glares.

"...what?" Cloud said sweating and scratching the back of his head.

" You know I hate you some times right?" Leon replied.

" Someone help me clean this stuff up!" Riku said as a moppy thingie appeared in his hand.

"Hmm..Fine whatever."Sora said as a moppy thingie appeared in his hand as well.

" Ummmmmm...how do you summon the almighty mop into your hands?" Kairi asked looking very puzzled.

"..." Sora and Riku just stared at her

"I'm gonna go help Aeris..." Kairi said making a dash for the garden

* * *

meanwhile in the garden...

" watering the flowers, watering the flowers wheeeeeee! LA LA LA LA LA LA LA..."

"AERIS!" Kairi shouted in disbelief, chin falling to the ground. Yeah she knew Aeris could be cheerful and upbeat, but this...this was a little scary.

"Ummmm, well...anyway, I came to help you fix the garden...hey whats that..?" Kairi said as she saw some of the huge greenery move ( the entire garden was more like a forest)

"Ummmm well I dunno..." Aeris said looking very confuzzed.

" Let's go see what it is..." Kairi said as she pushed through some fauna.

" What the..." Aeris started to make out , but some thing kept her from speaking as that certain something...LATCHED ONTO HER FACE! And that certain something happened to be...A FURBY!_( Me:AUUUUUUUGHH!)_

"..."_(Awkward silence just filled with Aeris's muffled screams)_

"Aeris, nooooooo!" Kairi said and reached out her hand as if she was in slow motion, ten seconds after the FURBY had attacked showing no emotion on her face.

Thats when they saw them...

Me: ya know, I am soooooo sorry, but it's really hard to update a story when I come home from camp exhausted, and an angry parent who_ just screams at you on how you should_ _take newspaper and tells you what to wear and tries to control every fxxxxxx detail of your life..._AUUUUGGGHHHH! I AM SICK AND TIRED OF THIS BUT remember I did this for you guys, 'cause I love ya'll and you mean so much to me! PLEASE REVIEW! It's the only thing that keeps me going! now I'll be back! Don't you worry! 14 days tops this time

Review!


	5. the begginings of a plot

1Me: HELLO! I AM BACK!

Sora: and in under 14 days!

Riku: -sarcastic- A new personal record. Wooow.

Me:-completely oblivious to sarcasim- Yeah I know amazing isn't it?. Anyway...I have just finished Harry Potter numero 6 in under 3 days! But I wasn't pleased with this book like I was pleased with the 4th( which is my favorite!)

Kairi: what exactly did me an' Aeris see last chapter...?

Me:-staring into space-...

-Everyone gives me angry glares-

Me: oh! Yeah I'm supposed to know that...hee hee, well...I

Sora:-slaps hand over my mouth- Don't give away the stor...YUCK!-takes his hand off my face-

Me:-in a dignified manner- That's what you get for cutting me off when I was speaking.

Sora: well you didn't have to lick me_(gross now I have authoress germs on me...UGH!)_

Me: I heard that thought.

Sora: How...

Me: Never mind. Kairi and Riku, the disclaimer is all yours-

KairI: -dressed in black and wearing a black beret(french word)in one of those weird poetry reading places- Roses are red, violets are blue, she doesn't own Sora and/or Riku.

Riku:-sitting cross-legged playing bongos and wearing sunglasses, a black beret, and black shirt and pants with a fake goatee glued to his face- _Word..._-begins to bang the bongos randomly and off beat-

Me: ummmm...

Sora: -snapping fingers-

Me: -glaring at him-

Sora:-still snapping- what..?

Me: On with the story!

Ohnevermindohnevermindohnevermindohnevermindohnevermindohnevermindoh

Sora was on the couch trying to understand what the people on t.v. were saying.

"Getchi getchi gora! getchi dencht shrucks!"(a/n: the t.v. actually sounds like that)

"Why can't you speak in English you stupid t.v.!" Sora was screaming at the t.v. from the "recycled" couch, but his efforts were rewarded with more sim lingo.

"...la diddileeda!"

"AUUUUGGHHHH!"

"Will you shut up? Your not the one who mopped up the entire mess, Huh. Am I right?" Riku said, 'cause after Kairi had left he got lazy and tried to get the t.v. to work. Riku was now on the phone trying to get a repairman because the toilet...had seen better days.( that's to keep people with weak stomachs out there from suing me) Clouds' energy bar had gone from red to maroon to purple to black to white,( a/n:it really can't do that, I'm just trying to get a point across) from running away from Kairi, so he had collapsed into a heap on the floor, and Leon was sitting out side reading the paper, trying to get a job.

Then this weird old lady walked up to him. She had her grey hair(a/n: It was so grey, it was almost white!)in an old lady bun, with a burlap patterned bandanna on her head(a/n: If you've played the sims unleashed, it's Sabrina Kats to clear it up for some people who have terrible imaginations...oh and in case you didn't get it, Sabrina owns like a bajillion cats!) and she wore a dress that fell down to her knees, that consisted a of deep red cloth with a million patches on it, and had a brown cloth wrapping around the dress in a diagonal fashion.

She walked up to Leon and started to poke him to get his attention. "Go away you old hag!" Leon shpooted (1)at the old lady. Then all of the sudden this blue icon that had two sims holding hands and a green plus sign next to it.

"Hey...! EH! What the h...oopmh!" those were Leons final words before Sabrina had him in the super glomp of doom!( a/n: a glomp is an _extreme_ hug...if you didn't know that) Sabrina had him on the ground, and was now squeezing his waist. "GET OFF ME YOU CRAZY LADY!" But that just made the little icon appear even more. When Leon had finally managed to free himself from Sabrina, he got up, he saw something horrific! THERE WAS A HUGE RED GOOEY LOVEY DOVEY HEART ON TOP OF HER HEAD !...!...! Now as soon as Leon saw this he immediately started to run away from there with much more...fear...fast(?)...gusto(!)...power( I'm leaving it at that!)

Meanwhile on the outside of the computer...

"OH.MY.GOD.0-0"Yuffie said with her mouth agape( if it had an "r" in front of the second "a", it would be, "a grape" -) "WOW! I didn't know Leon liked older women!...welllp..I can fix that!-" and as soon as she said that, she deleted Sabrina !oo ( there a cheat-code you can use that will let you delete anything, and I'm not going to give it to you-')

the end for now the end for now!

Responses to reviews:

Casey: Thank you for always reviewing, I don't like gremlins either,-gives a huge bowl of ice cream-

Kato Shingetsu: thanks, and I most certainly will keep writing!-gives a humongous pizza-

The Fifth Marauder: ummmm, I didn't know that anyone wouldn't understand the last line of the first chapter, 'cause that was what Leon said blahblahblah you just want a prize -gives the worlds largest bag of chocolate-

Sora-rocks/Pyoko: You're my cousin! Stop stalking me!-gives a restraining order-

Digiko: When are you coming home? I miss you...well, anyway thankyou for your time! -gives the worlds largest collection of the best Di Gi Charat DVD's-

Elie: Is your name like the Elie from Rave Master? Nevermind, but what did " :p" mean? Well thanks for the emmmmm... critique(?)-gives a huge bag of jelly beans-

Queen of Twilight: Thank you for being polite! I really appreciate it! -gives the world's largest bag of Skittles-

Me: I think that's everyone... here's a contest. Whoever reviews first, gets...

Riku: -in one of those stereotyped announcer voices- a new car!

Me: -Giving him an angry glare-

Riku:-sighs- A life-size plushie of a Kingdom Hearts character of your choosing(state it in your review)

REVIEWREVIEWREVIEWREVIEWREVIEWREVIEWREVIEWREVIEWREVI


	6. authors notePLEASE READ

1**I am sooooo sorry that I haven't updated, but it's not my fault! My parents found out about the grade viewer at school and lets just say that I got the computer taken away until I get my grades back up. But I have good news! I have a beta** **reader(kairiqueen) and I am still writing stories one shots poems for you guys.**

**I just can't post em'. But I am on the computer every Thursday night while my parents are at choir practice( 'cause I am a baaad girl!)so I can work on stuff then.**

**SoI'll be updating very very soon so bear with me please!**

**OH! There is a kingdom hearts flash on flash player. com, it's called kingdom hearts chronicles and its really funny( GO WATCH IT NOW!)**

**LATER!**


	7. authors note 2

Hey I know that I already posted one authors note, but I am just saying that even if I bring my grades up , from the ways wendy(or wilma, whatever that hurricane is called) look, it might do some damage to my house( knowing how the people predicted Katrina, I don't know what to expect anymore) so, I just wanted to let you know, KAY?

BYENESS!( and may luck be on your side if your in the projected path of the hurricane)


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